I think at some point or another, we’ve all had run-ins with sociopaths. People who get into your head, maybe seem innocent, but simply want to manipulate you for their benefit.
Sometimes they’re family members, sometimes friends, members of the clergy, or coworkers; they really can appear nearly anywhere in your life.
When it comes to the different types of people we find in our lives, narcissistic manipulators are among the most toxic of all.
They’re the type of people who only care about themselves and will stop nothing to get what they desire. Narcissists will always selfishly place their needs, emotions, and goals above anyone else when they’re making decisions.
They won’t think twice about taking advantage of someone if it is to the narcissists benefit. Their relentless quest for personal power and success is why they’re so manipulative, deceitful, and hard to be around.
Here are 6 phrases narcissists and sociopaths use to control you:
1. “You’re just ________.”
Fill in the blank. “Enamored with me”, “jealous”, “crazy”, “bipolar”, whatever. Sociopaths often get down in the gutter and resort to name-calling to diminish your self-worth and make you insecure.
By bringing you down, they bring justification to their unhealthy behavior and keep you hooked on them.
2. “You just didn’t understand me.”
Sociopaths will do something often referred to as “gaslighting.”
This is when you do something that causes a negative reaction and then blame the person for their negative reaction, saying that they didn’t understand what you were trying to say.
3. “Stop being so sensitive.”
When a narcissist pushes your button and makes you mad or elicits another negative creation from you, they’ll defend what they said or did by telling you you’re too sensitive.
You need to “toughen up.” This is, of course, a way for them to excuse themselves of any guilt and keep you hooked on them.
4. “Stop being dramatic.”
When a sociopath accuses you of being dramatic, you try to remove any validity from your emotions and reactions that might exist.
They’re simply trying to tear you down and make you second guess how it is that you actually feel.
5. “You’re reading too much into this.”
There are most definitely times that we read too deep into things and take away things that were never actually there.
Sociopaths often do things to make you on edge or paranoid – really anything to make you question their motives. They do this in the hope that they can belittle your intuition and make you feel crazy.
6. “You’d never survive without me.”
Once you’ve begun to deconstruct a sociopath, the baser form of their manipulation begins to surface. What they want with you isn’t a healthy relationship, be it platonic or otherwise.
What they want is control over you, and they control you by making you feel like you’re crazy. Don’t let them get away with it. You can survive without them.
Do you want to stress less, sleep better, and feel abundantly happier… without drugs or anything crazy?
Soul icon Otis Redding once sang that, “you don’t miss your water until your well runs dry.”
The “water” in the R&B; singer’s reference was the love of a good woman, and to this date, truer words have never been spoken.
You see, while some media may have given you the impression that a woman is willing to offer you an infinite number of chances to get your act together and devote yourself to a real relationship, the truth of the matter is that, once she decides to hit the road, you can kiss the thought of being with her again goodbye, and for good reason.
This isn’t to say that every relationship will be “one strike and you’re out,” quite the contrary.
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There are plenty of instances you might encounter where a good woman will try to work with you through your failings, to help you conquer those challenges and become better.
The point, however, is that those chances are finite. You’re better off doing things right sooner rather than later, because once the relationship is over, it’s over for good, and you’ll be kicking yourself for not realizing sooner.
Think about it this way — who would want to stick around if all you’re doing is causing confusion?
Everyone has their shortcomings, but if you’ve been putting strain on your relationships by being emotionally distant, throwing up walls, avoiding communication, and dodging commitments, is it any wonder a woman would say she’s had enough?
It’s not just the “wise” decision either, it’s common sense, as no person deserves to be dragged through an endless rigamarole of relationship nonsense, no matter how strong the love is.
Knowing that you were the impetus for a breakup might be a tough pill to swallow, and it’ll be even tougher once you realize that she’s moved on and is happy leading a life without you.
Thinking about what you could have done differently will sting, but there is some small amount of solace to be had.
This low point will pass. You will realize your mistakes, and you have an opportunity to learn from them. The door for this relationship is closed, but another one may well open down the line.
Next time a good woman enters your life, make sure you’ve got it together first, then do right by her and avoid the foolish mistakes you know will drive her away.