People with Cluster B personality disorders enjoy making other people feel worthless — especially on birthdays or holidays. Mean people love nothing more than stealing joy from an otherwise happy or sensitive-natured person. Don’t let the opinion of a manipulator or gaslighting con-artist’s angry, ugly, words ruin your mood. Their fundamentally toxic ill-fated projections (rather than goodwill sentiments or “happy” wishes) become a disappointing seasonal dysfunction lifestyle truth. Stand up for your own fundamental human rights to live, believe, and ENJOY whatever healthy idle amusement pleases, delights, and amuses you.
Your self-esteem or feelings of self-worth should NEVER be based on another soul’s subjective opinion of YOU. Don’t let the proverbial “turkeys” (or more aptly turkey dinners) get you down. Be your merry older and wiser self. If they refuse to allow you to live your life in a state of healthy and bountiful joy, thank them for their interest in saving you from yourself. Then, post haste, bid them adieu and tell them you hope they have a nice day — someplace else.
Narcissists love to spoil holidays and birthdays because to them the festivities represent stress triggers. For instance, how profoundly disruptive to a person’s thinking to have kind-hearted people fixing “Creme Brule” flavored coffee and handing them out in plain red cups.
Holidays are especially rough on a Narcissist’s favorite scapegoats and situationally targeted victim(s). Because abusive personalities are likely to trigger easily and frequently at the slightest provocation from any source or cause during these times, those who are most frequently bullied or harassed end up developing their own C-PTSD version of holiday stress.
People who are egocentric love to attention hog, so ruining other people’s feelings of warmth or interpersonal contentedness with the world while celebrating any holiday, birthday, personal celebration, commemorative milestone, or symbolic season like Christmas is their forte.
If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells while you are struggling to please or avoid the wrath of another person that gets worse during periods of high stress for a vacuous person, it’s NOT in your imagination.
As clinically diagnosed Narcissist and author of “Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited” Dr. Sam Vaknin candidly expressed in his tell-all book about Narcissistic Personality Disorder inspired thinking:
HOLIDAY BLUES ARE A COMMON OCCURRENCE EVEN AMONG THE MENTALLY SOUND. IN ME THEY PROVOKE A PARTICULARLY VIRULENT STRAIN OF PATHOLOGICAL ENVY. I AM JEALOUS AT OTHERS FOR HAVING A FAMILY, OR FOR BEING ABLE TO CELEBRATE LAVISHLY, OR FOR BEING IN THE RIGHT, FESTIVE MOOD. MY COGNITIVE DISSONANCES CRUMBLE. I KEEP TELLING MYSELF: “LOOK AT THOSE INFERIOR IMITATIONS OF HUMANS, SLAVES OF THEIR ANIMATED CORPSES, WASTING THEIR TIME, PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY”. YET, DEEP INSIDE, I KNOW THAT I AM THE DEFECTIVE ONE. I REALIZE THAT MY INABILITY TO REJOICE IS A PROTRACTED AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT METED OUT TO ME BY MY VERY SELF. I AM SAD AND ENRAGED. I WANT TO SPOIL IT FOR THOSE WHO CAN. I WANT THEM TO SHARE MY MISERY, TO REDUCE THEM TO MY LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL ABSTINENCE AND ABSENCE. I HATE HUMANS BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO BE ONE.
PEOPLE WHO COMPULSIVELY SPOIL HOLIDAYS OR RUIN FESTIVE MOODS OF OTHERS HAVE AN ABUSIVE PERSONALITY AND ARE MOST LIKELY TARGETING OR SCAPEGOATING YOU FOR PERSONAL, SOCIAL, OR EMOTIONAL EXTINCTION.
Beware the party planning Somatic Narcissist as well. They will be the first to step up to the plate to take over your special event planning for dinner parties, special events, holidays, and birthdays in an attempt to make themselves — rather than any special guest or group empathy being shared — look great. There is no sincerity in the desire to honor… only to be the star even when it is not their own special commemorative date. Even their party planning is enacted with a vengeance — something helpers, volunteers, and even the guest of honor will all suffer for tremendously while their manual labor goes entirely unrecognized by a glory-hogging Narcissist while efforts to help or please the ruthless party planner (or narcissistic guess and peer group) go completely unappreciated.